The following a portion of a conversation I had or did not have with some folks.
Someone: “For the love of God Ryan. Please no Badass Jesus!?!”
Me: “Badass Jesus f’cks shit up. Badass Jesus wreaked time, space, and the whole thing! Badass Jesus was up on the cross lovin’ it cause Badass Jesus is Badass!”
Someone else: “You want to get f’ked by Jesus?”
Me: “No, Badass Jesus f’ked up time and space in one continuous moment. The cross was just a placeholder for all of Badass Jesus’ kick ass badness.”
Someone else: “I bet sex with Jesus would be the best.”
Me: “I guess. But I am not into dudes, so I would not know. Besides Badass Jesus with the kung fu grip is too bad ass for sexing anyone up.”
Another speaks: “Ryan, I now realize why I miss you. You can say Badass Jesus from the pulpit and it would not be shocking or offensive.”
Me: “Now that is bad ass!”
*portions of the above conversation are based on real life events and the names of innocent participants have been changed to protect their identities and therefore their ability to effectively lead a church one day if they, the Holy Spirit, and a congregation do so deem it rightfully so.