Death here is thy sting but not thy victory.

Gideon prays, “Let me not get down if I’m walking with no-one and if I stumble from exhaustion…Let me not be too consumed with this world. Sometimes I want to go home and stay out of sight for a long time. Let me not be too consumed with this world. Sometimes I want to go home and stay out of sight for a long time”

A prayer from Thomas Merton Gideon posted on his site that he held on to…

Lord, I have not lived like a contemplative. The first essential is missing. I only say I trust You. My actions prove that the one I trust is myself-and that I am still afraid of You. Take my life into Your hands, at last, and do whatever You want with it. I give myself to Your love and mean to keep on giving myself to Your love-rejecting neither the hard things nor the pleasant things You have arranged for me. It is enough for me that You have glory.

Everything You have planned is good. It is all love. The way You have laid open before me is an easy way, compared with the hard way of my own will which leads back to Egypt, and to bricks without straw. If You allow people to praise me, I shall worry even less, but he glad. If You send me work I shall embrace it with joy and it will be rest to me, because it is Your will. And if You send me rest, I will rest in You. Only save me from myself. Save me from my own, private, poisonous urge to change everything, to act without reason, to move for movement’s sake, to unsettle everything You have ordained.

Let me rest in Your will and be silent. Then the light of Your joy will warm my life. Its fire will burn in my heart and shine for Your glory. This is what I live for. Amen, amen.

LORD, hear our prayer.

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