I address the unaddressable in an attempt to embrace peace that eludes me.
Can a sigh be a prayer? If it can then, “sigh.”
I would like to believe that this means that or that means this. If confusion is a prayer then I am Jesus the Christ.
I would like to make sense of it all and have all of it make sense. I wonder if expectations lead to anything productive. Yet, I worry that if I have no expectations that I have no faith.
I would like to understand the purpose of my life and have my purpose be understood. If there was a secret then I either missed it or I was not paying attention. I wonder if you could whisper the secret to me again. This time I will pay attention.
When I was younger I tried real hard to “be” big. Now that I am big I fight the urge to be younger. When I was playing make believe with the little playhouse and the fake wife I never really knew what the responsibility means. When I am living in the house with my beautiful wife I fear that I will never live up to the responsibilities.
I try not to think about my prayer life at times cause it scares me. When dealing with the source of life, the Creator of all that is, can I really encounter you? Is it even possible to breath in your breath? How dare I attempt to utter you name or even gesture towards the glory you are.
When I sleep at night I tremble at the thought of losing all that I know. Yet, I am sort of excited to see what else is out there. I wonder if I wonder too much.
I open my heart, my mind to you [as if I need to do anything to be in your presence] as I try to do the right things to evoke a magic trick and be blessed with peace. I wonder if I even understand what I am asking for or if I am ever ready to receive the blessing to which I ask.
Beloved God I “sigh” you accept these rambles as my hope for this day.