I address the unaddressable in an attempt to embrace peace that eludes me. 

Can a sigh be a prayer?  If it can then, “sigh.”

I would like to believe that this means that or that means this.  If confusion is a prayer then I am Jesus the Christ.

I would like to make sense of it all and have all of it make sense.  I wonder if expectations lead to anything productive.  Yet, I worry that if I have no expectations that I have no faith.

I would like to understand the purpose of my life and have my purpose be understood.  If there was a secret then I either missed it or I was not paying attention.  I wonder if you could whisper the secret to me again.  This time I will pay attention.

When I was younger I tried real hard to “be” big.  Now that I am big I fight the urge to be younger.  When I was playing make believe with the little playhouse and the fake wife I never really knew what the responsibility means.  When I am living in the house with my beautiful wife I fear that I will never live up to the responsibilities.

I try not to think about my prayer life at times cause it scares me.  When dealing with the source of life, the Creator of all that is, can I really encounter you?  Is it even possible to breath in your breath?  How dare I attempt to utter you name or even gesture towards the glory you are.

When I sleep at night I tremble at the thought of losing all that I know.  Yet, I am sort of excited to see what else is out there.  I wonder if I wonder too much.

I open my heart, my mind to you [as if I need to do anything to be in your presence] as I try to do the right things to evoke a magic trick and be blessed with peace.  I wonder if I even understand what I am asking for or if I am ever ready to receive the blessing to which I ask.

Beloved God I “sigh” you accept these rambles as my hope for this day.