God calls my Bullshit, Bullshit.

 

One of my favorite people of all time has been working on an open source project called “100 Days of Prayer” this is a prayer I wrote for him.

 

Creator God,

 

I wrestle with the idea that you exist, yet I am here calling on your name.

My mind wanders as I attempt to draw near to you.

I Fight through the thoughts of tacos, chinese food, and coke zero.

I Pause to ponder if I am praying properly.

I notice an itch on my leg and try not to itch it.

I give in and scratch my leg, forgetting to be reverent about it.

My stomach grumble in hunger, only I know I could stand to wait longer to eat.

 

I am charged to share your ways with people.

I am supposed to be an expert.

I fear the bullshit inside will be on display like that new summer fashion in the mall.

I have little confidence that I am the slightest bit effective in serving your people.

I have even less hope that I am speaking any truth.

My mouth won’t stop delivering words like daggers.

 

I am trying to convince myself I know what the hell I am saying.

I say I do not believe in damnation and that hell fire shit.

I say I do not support oppression of others so that I may have more, consume more.

I am full of it.

I harm more than most and less than some.

I am the mediocre model of marginalization and the king of capital consumption.

I lead by example that goes straight to hell.

My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts…this scares me.

 

I wrestle with the idea that you exist, yet that is all I have got today.

 

So here I am calling on your name so that I may live as if there is more to me that all of the finite purpose of this flesh.

 

Amen


4 thoughts on “God calls my Bullshit, Bullshit.

  1. Beth says:

    I really like this prayer. I always feel like I have to be prim and proper when I pray even though I know that God listens through all of my wandering thoughts. It’s a good reminder that I don’t have to be perfect, and yet, I need to listen for God calling through all of my bullshit.

    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Thank you to all for the comments. This prayer was written in a very real moment. I need reminders that it is not about me but about God in me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s