The Incredible Shrinking Ryan?!?

Hey y’all!

I have struggled with my weight ever since high school.  I have always been a big guy.  It has wreaked havok on my confidence and my ability to be the person God desirs me to be.  I have tried many things over the last 20 years.

I work out a lot.  I have no problem working out and never have.  My weakness lies in will power, accountability, and addiction.

I say this to reclaim the powerless part of my life that I am ashamed of.  I am an addict and always have been.  In my late teens and early 20’s my addiction blossomed with drug and alchohol abuse.  I have never been one for intoxication so I left those things behind.  Only to discover that my addiction shifted to food.

My name is Ryan and I am addicted to food.  I have an improper emotional reaction to food.  It delivers comfort to me in my weak moments.  Food is my vice.  A vice I need to break free of.  I can work out 7 days a week for hours on end and it will never cure me of the food addiction.

I have decided to take back that part of my life and free myself from the burden of going alone under cover.  I am publicaly acknowledging my struggle and seeking assistance.  I will be attending OA.  I will work the steps.  I will heal.  I will grow and the person that I am called ot be shall be revealed.

I will post here after my meetings [Monday mornings] to share with you this journey.  I have always sought to use my life in the ministry God has called me to.  This venture is another wave of this.  I need to crawl from the shadows and stop hiding in shame.  I have a problem and need help.  I am tired of going alone in this.  I must rid myself of shame.

I reach this point with the thought of Mere and I having children and what kind of father I hope to be.  I hope this path will lead to a healthier Ryan that grows more capable of serving and loving others as I endeavor to answer my call to ministry.  No more shame.  THe world has enough.

I seek your prayers.  I seek your support.  I seek the will of God in this.  Thank you for reading this.  May the peace of Christ be upon you.

Palabra tu Madre!

8 thoughts on “The Incredible Shrinking Ryan?!?

  1. If you do decide to go with the viking helmet, just don’t stack glazed donuts up each horn like you usually do. Seriously though, it’s pretty awesome you’re doing this. I also have more than a lack of willpower when it comes to food. I’m interested in hearing about your experience.

  2. Doug says:

    This is an amazing post. I appreciate your courage and will be praying for you as you requested. I thought of a booklet I love a lot from Church of the Savior, Wasthington DC. In this booklet, “Becoming the Authentic Church: A Guide toward Being in Diverse, Healing Community Rooted in Reconciliation and Justice,” Gordon Cosby and Kalya McClurg write: “We will take hold of Jesus, the Liberator, who tears us away from the worldly values and systems that bind and kill us. We will name those things in ourselves that keep us from living in a new way of nonviolent love and freedom, and offer them up for healing…As we are being liberated and freed, we will tell others about the Source of our new freedom.” Ryan, I like what you said about using your life in the mnistry God has called you to. I continue to try to do this more effectively. I want more and more to be a more authentic Christian and authentic pastor. Your witness is an encouragement to me.

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