I have struggled with my weight ever since high school. I have always been a big guy. It has wreaked havok on my confidence and my ability to be the person God desirs me to be. I have tried many things over the last 20 years.
I work out a lot. I have no problem working out and never have. My weakness lies in will power, accountability, and addiction.
I say this to reclaim the powerless part of my life that I am ashamed of. I am an addict and always have been. In my late teens and early 20’s my addiction blossomed with drug and alchohol abuse. I have never been one for intoxication so I left those things behind. Only to discover that my addiction shifted to food.
My name is Ryan and I am addicted to food. I have an improper emotional reaction to food. It delivers comfort to me in my weak moments. Food is my vice. A vice I need to break free of. I can work out 7 days a week for hours on end and it will never cure me of the food addiction.
I have decided to take back that part of my life and free myself from the burden of going alone under cover. I am publicaly acknowledging my struggle and seeking assistance. I will be attending OA. I will work the steps. I will heal. I will grow and the person that I am called ot be shall be revealed.
I will post here after my meetings [Monday mornings] to share with you this journey. I have always sought to use my life in the ministry God has called me to. This venture is another wave of this. I need to crawl from the shadows and stop hiding in shame. I have a problem and need help. I am tired of going alone in this. I must rid myself of shame.
I reach this point with the thought of Mere and I having children and what kind of father I hope to be. I hope this path will lead to a healthier Ryan that grows more capable of serving and loving others as I endeavor to answer my call to ministry. No more shame. THe world has enough.
I seek your prayers. I seek your support. I seek the will of God in this. Thank you for reading this. May the peace of Christ be upon you.
Palabra tu Madre!