Say it to me now…

I have become obsessed with the movie “Once” and its soundtrack. The other day at the gym I listened to the song “Say it to me now” 6 or 7 times in a row. I feel like weeping when I heard these words.

Scratching at the surface now
I’m trying hard to work it out
so much has gone misunderstood
This mystery only leads to doubt
And I’m looking for a sign
In this dark uneasy time

[This expresses my encounters with God as of late. I know I am seeking knowledge beyond my abilities. I just want to work out my faith. I want to gain peace and blessing. I miss the mark in this quest. I am unsure if this quest is noble at all or if it is just for show. Worse yet is it fire insurance. I cry out in the darkness of my nights for God to not be silent…grant me rest.]

So if you have something to say
Say it to me now

And I’m not trying to pass the buck
I’m just trying to get a better look
And I’m wondering how it feels for you
Now that the shoe is on the other foot
And I didn’t understand
When you reached down to take my hand

[I believe that I am responsible for what I do and not do. I want to understand and not take blind faith for what it is to me, a foolish plunge. I am thankful that you are God and I am not. I just focus on the exploitation, whining and bargaining that humanity participates in.]

And if you have something to say
You’d better say it now

Cause this is what you’ve waited for
A chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow
Cause I’m clearing up this wreckage Lord
And there’s more than you’ve ever seen before

[I hate that there is uncertainty on being/existence when I have no idea what was before life and what will be in death. I panic because I am at your whim and it forces me to trust you. I have no other means to swim in the sea of doubt. I am nervous and scared. I hope to hear your voice. How do I listen?]

So if you have something to say
Say it to me now

These lyrics, this song holds me in my struggle with God. It just might be the solace I have been asking for. It came from no where. I delivered me in peace. It let me sleep. That I am thankful for.

4 thoughts on “Say it to me now…

  1. I think you know how much I LOVE Once.

    There’s just something magical about the movie. For one reason or another it speaks so directly to the heart.

    I’m glad you can find so much meaning and expression from this film. I think I’ve listened to that soundtrack like 1000 times since I got it.

    Thanks for sharing friend!

  2. Timothy says:

    I was singing a song from Once just this morning brother. Good movie. And on the larger content of the post, I think we are always going to struggle. We should, even. I would be more worried the day you stopped posting things like this.

  3. Froggy! What up MoFo?

    Drew! What up MoFo?

    Once is in my top 10 with Lost in Translation and others. I will put up a post on the movies. It may be time for my best of albums thus far in 2008.

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