The hardest part of life is living. The dying thing just comes, with little or no effort.
I have been pondering my life a lot lately. How I ended up where I have. Why certain things did not work out. I was told once that hindsight puts into perspective the unanswered prayers. That is so true.
If I had gotten everything I had prayed for I would be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
The biggest change in my life, outside of the stint in the sticks, has been my relationship with Mere. She is a darling woman that adores me. I am not too sure why. I am just thankful that she does. I do not really write about my love successes. Mostly due to my fear that I will jinx them or jack up the inertia hurling towards success. So I write about the bad or difficult unsuccessful loves I have had.
For many years I kept a diary that I wrote to “my wife.” When ever I felt sad or lonely I wrote in this journal. I still have some of them. Most of the journal was lost on my brothers computer. I wish I still had those.
These days I do not write in a journal I compose sonnets, confessions, and poems in my heart. I am inspired to great heights, now that I have encountered that puzzle piece that corresponds to mine. I live these romantic ideas. I have been blessed with an aromatic scent of beauty, grace, and companionship in the one that holds my heart.
I am content and happy in the life I have been blessed with. I understand that it is all Gods. Nothing is mine. God saw fit to bless me with a new kind of love. It is Gods to enrich, bless, and mold. I dare dream of a day together…
I am not good at love and romance. I try real hard. I am that guy that sits on the edge of the dance floor that longs to dance with that girl, under the lights, cloaked with the stars. But never have I asked her to dance. Never have I uttered a word to the kind. I sip my punch waiting…longing.
I just wanted to share a little bit about a good part of my life. A part I do not share much here on the blog. It is a big part of me, one of the best parts of me. 22, the time is coming to dance.