The Top 10 (and only 10) facts about Chuck Norris:

-Quick Note- If you read any of these, and laugh, check behind you. Chuck Norris hates it when you laugh at him. If you are spared of a Chuck Norris Ass Whooping then I suggest you run because he will find you and HE WILL get you.

  1. Chuck Norris once visited the British Virgin Islands, Now, they’re called the British Islands.
  2. Chuck Norris does not “teabag” the ladies. He “Potato-Sacks” them.
  3. Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him a “promising rookie”.
  4. Most Anti-Bacterials claim to kill 99.9% of all germs. Chuck Norris kills 110% of whatever the hell he wants.
  5. Chuck Norris doesn’t read playboy.
  6. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell, “What the fuck was that!?”
  7. When Chuck Norris was a teen, he had sex with every nun in a small convent in Tuscany. Nine months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated champions in NFL history.
  8. Some people sleep with guns under their pillow. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
  9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee, not by ancestry, but because he once ate a Native American.
  10. Chuck Norris has the kidney of a moose. He keeps it in a large fridge.

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